Let’s think like this; Do we really have empathy when we listen to and listen to the other person? I think that the answer of many of us will be yes, of course.
In fact, empathy has 3 basic criteria;
- To be able to look at the events from his perspective by putting himself in front of him
- To be able to understand and feel the other’s thoughts and feelings correctly
- To be able to express to him that he understood
By putting ourselves in front of us, we can understand more easily why he reacts to events or thinks about the event when we manage to see things from his eyes, from his window, from his perspective. This does not mean that we deserve it, but our understanding of the reasons for their thoughts or reactions will also enable us to understand others.
Understanding and feeling the thoughts and feelings of the person facing us is also very important in establishing empathy. Because sometimes, the degree of empathy depending on the person’s intimacy can change. Sometimes we cannot be sufficiently objective towards those who are very close to us or feel very close to. We cannot evaluate events from an objective perspective. For this reason, we need to empathize with him and tell him about his mistakes or mistakes, and vice versa. For all these reasons, regardless of the degree of intimacy of the other person, we should evaluate the things that he / she is objective towards, what he lives, observes from an objective point of view.
It is also very important to be able to express our understanding of the other person in terms of empathy. While expressing that we understand, we should make him feel that we act like this because we really understand him and share his feelings. If we approach him without establishing this bond with him, there may be insincerity between him and the person and he can feel this situation.
While doing all this, we should not confuse the concepts of empathy and sympathy. Sympathy; to understand and accept all of the things he tells us without question, without understanding the person, without feeling the feelings he shares, and evaluating it objectively. For example; A friend started crying while telling you about his problems with the person he had problems with. When you feel emotional and cry with you, what you tell is no longer important to you. His sadness has been important to you. For this reason, whether you are evaluating the events by empathizing with the person in front of you, or evaluating the events by sympathizing with that person, you should definitely act by considering these two important points.